“An Open casting video by way of letters to your reality show that I’m a huge fan of….’

[[[Where this came from or how this came about was rather organic as I was writing a satire of casting videos based on what you should probably NOT if definitely not do. See it kind of as a rough script that became more of an open letter but without going back and changing lots of blanking blanks and blankety blanks…well..you either get the picture or you won’t understand at all….I don’t think there’s a grey area where it can be misconstrued or misconceived as being anything else more than what it is…or has become….and now thus I’m writing tonal-y  in my created pansexual pre-op gender fluid lover of love….If offense is found within that’s your issue and cross to bear because I’m simply making or marking if not masking social commentary….read observations of the world through myne eyes and you’re free to disagree with it but I don’t really care if you take issue with any of it so you can take it leave it or roll it up into a joint to smoke and puff puff pass or keep to yourself….or if you’re really a hater you can grind it out beneath your foot and march on with your life. Haha. Seriously I’ve made this way more than it was…writing is magic like that sometimes. Enjoy thusly {spell-check said thusly isn’t a word…merriam webster says it is..and thus-ly I added it to my spell-check dictionary…side tangent I felt important to point out..lol} or don’t….as often if not always I must point out to me myself and no one that I don’t believe and sincerely doubt it’s being read or seen by anyone’s eyes other than my own at a later point in time anyway…so IF you are and you do..enjoy or hate it for what it is and not what it isn’t….

#Thanks     ]]]

Hey reality show x. I’ve been a fan since season blank when blank and blank engaged in blank with blank.

I would be a great fit for your show because I am entertaining funny and a people person but also blank blank blank and blanking blank.

When I was thirteen years old blank and I nearly died when blank happened to me on a blank next to a ferris wheel when blank and blank blank.

Further more when I was nineteen I was the first junior world champion of blank at my college the blank of blank where I went on to get a doctorate in blank and honorary degree in blank blankety blank blank blank…

uhmm….yeah….. and all my friends say I’m so awesome and I uhm…should totaally..uhh..be on such and such show and blank blankety blank blank blank

Thanks for your consideration and I look forward to blanking from blank as soon as blank so I can blank blankety blank blank blank and blank too.

see also

I’m a pre-op pansexual who is in love with love not genders. While it’s possible I was molested when i was younger and just don’t remember it I chose to believe I live this lifestyle by my CHOICE because it is the way I was born…i mean uhm..yeah I was born this way I don’t CHOOSE to live this way…even though I do..

I was engaged to a post op panhumandroid who came from the year 2053 and met me that year and was so in love with me had to find a way to travel back in time and marry me now. Unfortunately uhm…they ended up in prison for scamming stupid people and robbing seniors citizens ALLEGEDLY..however I still love him her or it but because I’m in love with love I am able to spread my love to others still and not because I’m mentally unbalanced, wired wrong, or a love addict…nope I’m perfectly fine despite what my old so called friends, family, and mental health professionals have claimed.

If you don’t cast me I might have to cut myself because in not casting me you’re devalidating my existence and thus you must be punished….I mean I would never harm myself because something didn’t go my way the voices from beyond told me that I would be on your show or the world would crumble into decay and despair thus it’s your RESPONSIBILITY to put me on your show.

Not that I could use the money but I really need the money that I would get when I win the show and if I didn’t win I would probably have to seek legal counsel against your network and possibly cast a spell on your casting department.

OF sane mind I declare I am the best there is and the best there can ever be for your program so if you were to defy the Gods and Goddesses by not casting me you would surely pay when dogmatic karma or witchcraft caught up with you.

With regards Spectra queen of the isle of riches.

[[But for real though…I’m a better writer than “actor” or on screen like talent. Surely most people would disagree with me having any talent but for the sake of argument and because I like to pat myself on my own back and toot my own horn just bear with me. As this was part two of my conceptual jumble….the idea was to make a satirical casting video and post it on YouTube in a mocking manner of all the people that don’t understand casting people do NOT want you putting your actual casting video out on the interwebs for anyone to see. That is NOT the way to get on any program according to most the people who know what they’re talking about if not only the people that actually have something to do with casting. With that and HOWEVER they could be liars right? I think if you’re trying to be a YouTube sensation there’s nothing wrong inherently with you doing it but if you legitimately are trying to get on one of the CBS big three you’re barking up, allegedly, the wrong tree and in the entire wrong forest. What the fuck do I know however what I’ve been relayed indirectly from those who do the casting. I could be wrong and their truths could only be half truths..hell I should ENCOURAGE all my theoretical potential competition to do all the things you’re not supposed to..BUT where’s the fun in that? I’m one who stupidly likes the idea of to be the best you gotta beat the best…or at least theoretically I don’t need an unfair advantage but then reality is closer to everything is already going against me….If only I was as brilliant at all times live and in person as I can be almost all the time in writing. Not to say I am or am not as I portray in words but it’s much easier to go uninterpreted when there’s no one trying to talk over you..ya know and ya dig?]]

~~~forever and always

“Would you like to know more?”    and of course

“STOP THE”(motherfuckin)”Boat!”

😀

****Bonus****

I may have in fact posted a satirical casting video or two..perhaps three on my facebook. Full disclosure they came about when attempting to make a video for big brother 17. None of them were in fact what I sent in however so I don’t belive I broke the cardinal rule of not sharing my casting video and really if anything IF they were seen by someone from casting incidentally they could work as supplemental information….all while being complete nonsense…i.e. and read the stuff I posted was done in character that wasn’t who I am as a character…ya dig? Intentionally over the top and ridiculous for the sake of ridiculous….not that I haven’t thought to send exactly that kind of video in for casting…and then…actually I kind of did ultimately settle on something that was a little bit ridiculous…gotta keep things interesting or something right? TMI and breaking that forth wall..being aware of who my casting character would be were I to be pigeonholed….Unpredictable and spontaneous bouts of insanity…ie and thus I don’t believe in playing character x when I can be characters a through z. That probably ultimately hurts my casting chances but then as much as I want to partake in fictionalized reality I’d much rather still be playing myself than a character that is representative of myself. Perhaps now I’ve said too much. I know who I am even if I can’t or choose not to boil it down into something simple and high concept as “pro wrestling nerd that also loves music”….but oops and oh wait…I kind of just did didn’t I? [I feel like if that was my “character” it’d be quite boring to more people than who would find it not. I don’t however think i am or find myself to be a boring person…but then I’m a walking contradiction of reality and imagined if not just falsely perceived reality. To say I think to much about that could if not would be an understatement. Ultimately I “just don’t give a fuck” but I’d like to see evidence that someone appreciates where I’m coming from or what I’m saying in life……it’s a whole lot of I don’t really care but obviously I do really care while ultimately not in fact caring…..”and it makes you feel better”)

Fin~

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About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
This entry was posted in Blogging, Reality Tv, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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