My strange, silly *?*, obsession; Big Brother (the reality show on CBS)….

(I wrote this roughly three weeks ago. I don’t know if there’s a point in my pointing that fact out…but alas I have…so there you have it and “there you go”)

Regular readers or people who know me know I want to be on Big Brother. I’ve gone so far as to say, in the past at least, that it was my destiny. As that destiny is constantly (though not nearly as many times as it has been for others) shit upon when I don’t get on the show my faith has waned; so also has my desire…well at least slightly.
A good portion of the year I talk at least weekly about big brother. I take a few months off between the end of the season and the new year give or take a bit..because well that just seems about the appropriate amount of time to step back from it.

(enjoy how badly written this is :D)

This year, season 17, I literally waited until the last day submissions were accepted to apply. In theory that makes no difference BUT one of the semi final rounds was tentatively scheduled to take place before the submission period closed…so you do that math…in any case I stressed about making a “good” video and then went with one that could be seen perhaps as amusing if not entertaining…or at least in the worst best case scenario whomever watched surely thought to themselves “what an ass(hole)”. IN life bad impressions aren’t great but in reality television casting…good or bad is better than indifferent and I like to speculate that someone somewhere responded to me rather than not….maybe that’s not the case and I’m just plain awful BUT….despite or in spite of my waning enthusiasm….or more so faith…..there’s little tings….

Such as? Casting is closed, semi finalists contacted, but I’ve had several dreams since that point where I was called by someone from kassting…perhaps even robyn herself two out of three times…but alas that’s just my subconscious working itself into a tizzy and trying to balance out the endorphin’s right? Well also pretty seemingly randomly three of my big brother 17 related tweets were favorited by one of those accounts associated with one of the many sites that cover big brother. No big deal right? Probably not and not really because it wasn’t even from one of the sites I recognize BUT…were I asking from a sign from the great beyond or above that I shouldn’t lose my faith….that little bit of randomness kind of was exactly that. Sure it’s all open for interpretations but being as they weren’t even recent tweets (one was a couple months old, one was probably one month old, one was more recent than the other two) I took it as a nod of encouragement form something or someone beyond myself….

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE….

This is where I go off the proverbial deep end and I will keep the specifics too myself (unless asked in which case I might elaborate) but as I was in the shower minutes ago ((as of my typing this because who knows when or if I’ll post this..although I plan on doing so asap…but that’s been in the plans before and never happened)) it hit me that the numbers tell me that next year WILL be (((IS in fact already predestiny; never mind how i feel about destiny..haha))) my year. True or false is irrelevant because if nothing else it brought an odd calm upon me. The numbers don’t lie…they’re just wrong often…hahaha….but seriously…I think I’ve decided if it doesn’t happen next year than clearly it’s never going to. ((((never mind multiple people in my life that would push upon me if one attempt fails than why bother. Nobody REALLY supports my “obsessioN”..and nobody really seems to believe I can make it…which perhaps is one of those driving forces behind why I would keep trying…as I go off track often in parenthesis and perhaps better for out of I shall also add I’ve jokingly said/put out there too that maybe by the time I get on, since of course I will, it will be old fogeys versus the kids and as I’m not quite old enough to be an old fogey yet it’s not my time to be cast. My “youth” as it were definitely is past me so it would only make sense for me to be the old(er) man in the house…or something…people in their 40’s versus their 20s perhaps?..)))) So where was I headed or going and what have I already covered? Perhaps I’ve forgotten per in parenthesis set four I’m older and my memory is probably going…haha…but nah I kid one more thing I had meant to say before going off on the upteenth [umpteenth?]tangent in my life was that I didn’t really think this year was my year anyway. I did in at least two of my previous tries if not all three…or at least I had a much better “feeling” than I did this year AND I originally felt/thought this year would be another all-stars season in which case it wouldn’t even matter. I have to hope that’s the case when I don’t get a call because then I can rationally rationalize to myself “well there you go”…and one of the seasons that worked too because who they were going after wasn’t who I was…or something….
blah blah blah blah blah

#RandomNotRandom bonus fun facts. I’ve also applied to/tried out for/whatever whatever-ed the amazing race and survivor. Survivor I only did to say how much I’d like to be on big brother because hey why not but also same kastting people or some crossover. The amazing race my potential partner, my cousin, infamously or famously told the people recording us “I’m camera shy” and the improbable odds we probably had to begin with skyrocketed likely to impossible. Having gone to a few open casting calls now I kind of enjoy them. I kind of wish I were an actor just so I could go to auditions (which I guess i COULD go to auditions even not being an actor…but there’s not a lot of casting calls around here that I’ve been privy to and…well I’m not a fucking actor am I so it would be a complete and utter waste of time..but still maybe “fun”) My desire to be on big brother ((or the amazing race…really almost no desire for survivor…although I’d like to be the first to complete the CBS trifecta….which I’m pretty sure has yet to occur)) isn’t because I think or want to be an actor. I’d for sure enjoy the temporary bump that would round out or complete my share of fifteen minutes of fame…but more so the big brother driving force was “they cast THEM? I can do that shit” which has become a little bit more “I’d like to play the game for the experience”/”challenge”…etcetera etcetera….

I’ve gone off track in my head if not also on screen yet again….nothing fully new has been exposed here and I’ll eventually touch slightly further upon why the numbers tell me next year is the year…but first how’s about something entirely different?.

.

..

Nah I’m just kidding. There was a show on fox about 13 years ago now *?* “Paradise Hotel”.[per wikipedia 2003 and then 2008…so rather than correct myself I’m keeping the ‘about 13 years ago now *?* because it’s still pretty accurate at roughly 12 years itinit? and then the next season was a few more than just a few years later but semantics right?]

There was an unfortunate looking fellow on that show named Dave. There was a person I talked to on the interwebs, who no longer is in my orbit, a lot about that show. We were both convinced that I was surely much more awesome than Dave so i would have been perfect for that show. They did a season two a few years after the first on the fox reality channel. (I think that’s what it was called). I don’t know that I have a point but I do seem to remember season one ending with a bit of a “to be continued” type cliff hanger…because that’s “reality”…haha..but seriously I think or thought it was in my destiny to be on that show…but it went away…so “well there you go”….

..

.

So yeah. ‘It’s in the numbers’. My first year trying out for Big Brother it was also in the numbers and then when Jenn City was on the show I KNEW my destiny had been sidetracked by outside forces….or as I like to put it my destiny was “shit on”….my life I’ve made decisions based on the number three…the conspiracy of three…the power of 3,3,3…..the trifecta of doom…..the unholy trilogy…..whatever whatever….the number three was the root of the equation and I believe I made it work somehow for season 15 or maybe last year for season 16 but I know it didn’t work for both and I couldn’t seem to come up with something that made sense with “17”…BUT…. the number three, my age to be, and eighteen….it’s all in the numbers. With just a little bit of a reach it all makes perfect, albeit likely crazy, sense…and so. Next year my friends….next year…..

😀

“would you like to know more?”
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Bonus thought. Whatever is lacking above I’ve previously covered. For the most part. I believe. If I haven’t whoops I guess but there’s at least two or three, maybe more, previous big brother related blog posts I’ve dropped that go deeper or into further details or what have you. A lot of over thinking and mass speculation in one to all of those too but the intent of the above wasn’t any of that. The subject title may be misleading BUT then….look at the crazy I brought and I’d say that supports the use of “obsession”….itinit?. That’s all I got and yet I gots so much more (of the same; #ha).

“stop the (muther fuckin) boat!’

**************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Fin son!~

…”and one more thing”……..

I seem to have forgotten what it was I was going to add…..so another “well there you go”…I’m sure it was brilliant as fuck shit however… …oh wait..no…not it wasn’t. It was simply more on the fact that I didn’t think this was my year anyway because of some stupid not really prepared to jump into it quite yet type shit….but of course that would change in the moment i was asked to join the cast…lol…. one more year I’ve got to “take care of” random shit that one make that transition more difficult than need be.

The end..is the beginning..is the end 😉

____________________
*bonus* spell check material

I forever will seem to spell incorrectly belive as I forget one of the e’s “believe”…also spellcheck doesn’t recognize “fogey” but google validated me on that one. A few other spelling kerfuffles that spelling check always brings me too but there’s a good chance if my spelling is incorrect in what remains it was a creative choice or….something 🙂

*bonus bonus** my previous post was roughly 4 and a half months ago but I wrote a bunch of stuff that I never posted because…I didn’t get around to doing so in a timely manner OR I just figured and/or gave in to the feeling of what’s the point….what’s the point in pointing this out? I haven’t stopped writing. I blatantly wrote blog entries to be that could one day still see the light of the inter-web but….probably not because…see what I just said. See Also a quick(ish) overview of the Big Brother season seventeen houseguests as seen by me via just their basic official big brother bios that for at least one past season I have done but didn’t ever post (becaause I don’t post all that much about the actual show here…there’s tons of sites that already do that and do it far better than I do plus my opinons are expressed via twitter, @originaljahwoo , and on facebook, /jahwoo , ifin you care). Blah to the blah blah but there’s a few other ideas I started and either didn’t quite finish but just never posted like “wmp shuffle” BUT that one there’s a good chance at least one entry of planned multiple entries will in fact be posted.

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About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
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