[[[***preface*** More about reactions to actions than the initial action. Remaining cryptic because the blog I should have written to post before this where you could connect a to b hasn’t happened. I may or may not share the details as they were but long short. Unfriended based on a lie the person told me..and then blocked because I called her out on her bullshit (essentially if not basically)…how many times can I post the same post right? hahahaha 😛 ***end preface***]]]
…Particularly in the online arena with people I’ve never met. My “feelings” are non existent. Some of you I may like or prefer to others but I’m always just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Everyone evetually “leaves” or stickS around but stops talking to me. Some people might say that means I’m a massive asshole with issues to work out and I’m not looking for an argument or debate about that fact(or fiction). I’m merely pointing out; true colors always eventually shine through and the only reason it may “bother” me is because I’m me from the jump. I never put on a mask of niceness that I don’t posses for the sake of others. I don’t kiss your ass, I don’t blow smoke up your ass, and I don’t ever claim to be anything more than who and what I am.
For that last sentence perhaps particularly and because I KNOW I’m not people friendly (or something there’s a word that escapes me…I’m an acquired taste…I’m the firestarter…the twisted firestarter “”). I don’t invite myself into others lives. Disclaimer to add for the most part anyway that’s true and if not I TRY not to invade on peoples personal space….that doesn’t mean I won’t argue, disagree, or act the fool and be an asshole on the public forums as they were but I rarely to never go out of my way and try to become someone’s friend; I let people come to me and when they grow dissatisfied with me I mock them for their stupidity 😀 (I’m just kidding..mostly…if you choose to bring your life into my life you WILL Become eventual fodder if I feel it’s warranted…and see in particular people who prod or provoke me on the way down or out….you’re just asking for it…you should be honored…or something..maybe not…I don’t really care though anyway..so pbthh)
This is the part where the bass drops…..
What’s my point. If I don’t know you in person I give about two fucks ultimately about your reactions to my actions. If I do or have known you in person I don’t think I’m very much if at all any different. Again I say or suggest that might not be healthy but I’m ultimately content with my life so if it offends you….that’s your problem NOT my problem. (that being said I’m pretty nice about most things still even with those who aren’t close strangers…but A-gain. You provoke me you will get things you don’t want to hear unless I’m completely indifferent in which case…”well there you go”
Inspired by one person but could be applied to many. I’m fine with who I am if you’re not fine with who I am guess what? That’s also fine. When you put up a front it ultimately only hurts you not me. I see through most bullshit anyway so ever vigilant I am. Beed any much more be said? I reckon probably not as quite often “I’ve already said enough’.
I enjoy taking cheap shots and cheap jabs ass asshats when I feel it’s warranted. In spite of all that I just said i DO however fear that some people stick around out of fear. They know I know stuff or I’ve got dirt on them. Given what I just said it would suggest maybe they should be right? Alas no that’s not what I’m saying. There ARE certainly people who have departed from my life who I could easily create unwanted drama and possibly bring misery but I’m not malicious.
^*Some might disagree and say I am in fact quite malicious…maybe I won’t argue with you..but I stand by given some of the stuff I know..some of the potential ammo in my arsenal against you….maybe I take a higher moral ground? I feel like but don’t know for sure that the same can’t be said of others. Back in the days of myspace there was at least one saboteur….currently I still have one friend who I know spread things I said to them to others but because I stand by the fact I won’t say something behind someones back I wouldn’t say directly to them….I’m kind of fine with that. Sometimes it’s better to let others do your dirty work; you know?
In conclusion if at leat not in closing I must say. I’m clearly a more complicated and complex person than some people are able to accept….okay that’s perhaps a lie if not at least an exaggeration. Maybe and likely I’m just a massive asshole but I NEVER EVER claim to be anything less. If you don’t like it there’s the door. If it offends you maybe your sensibilities are a bit to delicate. if I offend you on a personal level nine times out of ten I didn’t mean to do so and 9.9 times of ten it wasn’t my intent.
Perception is a mother fucker sometimes. Intent easily misunderstood. The world needs cynics to balance out people who see everything as bubbly and happy. Dontcha think?
(added post postscripts. I ain’t mad at ya though..things are just as they are meant to be..some eventualities should have happened sooner than eventually. If i ever broght anything to your life positive, negative, and/or other. I’ve served my purpose. Aimed souly at the primary inspiration that led to me writing this piece in particular. Your really stupid to pointless lie was the catalyst. Someone out there would say I’m playing the victim. Nope. I’m playing reality. I’m not vilanizing anyone thus I’m not playing victim. I am sometimes illogical but at the end of the day I live with logic and reality not absurd speculations and assumptions…..or maybe I’m totally full of shit…but in any case I’m not claiming to be a victim or blaming anyone for anything…ooops that IS a direct response to the other person who a lot of this could corelate with.)
…but of course a bonus postscript; in the crazy off the wall chance the purveyor of “fabulous” reads this…I’ve got a fabulous response directly for you that I’ve chose to held back. The written above was set off by yet another person that could no longer hang with me…haha…although at least minuscule bits were inspired if not directly indirectly by words you targeted at me. (see also I had a reaction that was written with intent of posting but being a virtual waste of breath..I’ve kept it to myself…I had a response that was civil for ‘fabulous’….but I’m respecting your desire to keep me out of your life. See people who might be reading….I can take the higher moral ground sometimes…HA)
“Stop the”mother fucking”boat”
“Would you like to know more?”……
[[[rereading this…it’s as “beautiful” as I thought it was as I wrote it..sans where I go astray..but I think solid opening and at least decent closing…but then I enjoy my words more than anyone else possibly could I reckon]]]