*disclaimer*..the subject header is hardly relevant to the words within…”enjoy” *disclaimer fin*
Directly inspired by absolutely nobody if not also everyone.
Everyone wants to be happy right? Everybody likes to find that other half that they then place responsibility and expectations of their happiness being kept up with and buy that other person. Maybe everyone is to huge a word to use and perhaps “most” people is more accurate. But wait with the divorce rate hovering roughly around half, usually the consensus according to studies, maybe it’s only about half the people that feel that way sometimes if not often or all the time.
What’s my fucking point? I’m not one of those most or one of those everyone. It just came to me as I was over-thinking about nothing and everything in particular. I’m selfish not selfless….and yet but then that’s so entirely the opposite of reality too…it’s one hell of a walking contradiction that composes me.
I don’t need someone else to complete me…but I don’t slight others who feel that way. I would however like to subliminally punch them in their faces for judging me. (metaphorically also..but literally subliminally…how cool could that be? Yes I clearly MUST be advocating bullying or domestic abuse by thinking that way….so fuck you if you were going to suggest that. :D). Some of us can be content if not fine or dandy…but of course NEVER both fine and dandy ((thanks George Carlin))…just living our fucking lives. I don’t hate you for your decisions so stop hating me for my lack of decisions.
Now see what I’ve done is gone off on [yet] another tangent. Though people in the past have screwed me over I didn’t let that ruin my life…I did eventually however give up on others to a small extent if not nearly entirely. (that’s really the same thing itinit?). I’m not even bitching, moaning, and/or complaining about all that; merely just stating. I might be to overpowering with my opinions…but I’ve attempted in my life to play subservient little bitch and that didn’t lead to any more success than being who the fuck I am. My opinions are correct more often than not and even if that’s not true you’re not going to change my opinion of my opinion ((see where I admit I’m completely full of shit..but then…In those cases I’m still right because I’m simply outsmarting your dumbass :DDD ))….
where was I going or where [tha fuck] were we headed…hmm….
Your happy isn’t my problem and thus so isn’t mine yours. Maybe that’s the chip that’s not in fact literally or figuratively on my hypothetical, real, or imagined shoulders. I don’t deny I can be an asshole..and yet to some people I’m not enough of an asshole…there’s just no winning…or losing for that matter….there just is…
There I go getting all faux philosophical…I feel like death is coming for me sooner than later so my capability to care for people is limited…..wait no….based on past experiences…with people…thus my lack of caring. The past is the past but is a blueprint for the future. My possible deeply rooted psychological issues aside…I hate you but it’s nothing personal. (well 99 times out of 100 and change anyway; Hate being a strong word most people don’t in fact hate anyone…they strongly dislike or don’t care for…but hate is to despise…and even fucked up people who kill for ridiculous reasons like in the name of their religions, who am I or you to judge, or whatever stupid ass reason ((coming from a believer in theology or theologist if not only something higher….but then I also believe in the reality that the energy never [quite] dies…again my walking contradictions….but I progress from my digression))…even those “monsters” were good people or a good person at some time in their life or lives. Yep I just made a vastly radical statement. All people are inherently good……but wait good and bad is all perception; right/no?…But “for real though”..even the most terrible person you can imagine likely wasn’t terrible for someone. (((sure and surely that can be proven to be an untruth….psychopaths or sociopaths right?…but they usually have connected with someone at some point in time…the psychosis often drawn from some source..and thus…how truly emotionless or feelingless can even the craziest person really be?..hmmmm)))
“Would you like to know more?”
I don’t even know that I’m done writing…however in a likely to be unlikely relevant to anything I’m saying or have said moment of full disclosure; my head is fuckin’ killing me. Nice dull throbbing pain in my temple like I was hit by a baseball bat a few times…nicely not consistent or it’d probably be something I should get “checked out”. Annoying more than anything else..but painful to the point of why in the fuck am I typing rather than attempting to sleep….which in a bonus episode of fun facts…I enjoy being in or escaping to the world of sleep….sometimes more than anyone else…agaiin that’s one of those subjective things…I know…but just saying…sleeping 23 hours of the day isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Makes me sound depressed right? IF I am I have some fucked up hybrid version of depression. (based on those self diagnostic like tests…I rarely am even close to the you might have a problem degree of things…and so I clearly must just in fact, as stated earlier..I think, hate you all.)
to be continued?
Nah that’s all I got. Rambling through my fingers for the sake of emptying the words from within my head. Everything easily annoys me and yet nothing at all bothers me. More walking…waking…contradictions. The addiction to the prescription is no indoctrination of the medication…’we are we are…the youth of a nation’…. Yep I got nothing much more. What is important to me at the end of the day..I’ve never met someone who sees eyes to my eyes with. Music is literally more important to me than any person or god…music IS my god….I wrote a blog entiteld that or something similar that I’ve never posted. Never mind the fact the dozens if not dozens of dozens of things I wrote (with an intent to post) but never posted. Never mind the fact ‘there’s nobody listening”….Escape from my own mind in those words are reason enough for posting to a world that doesn’t care. That’s not even depressing… “I’ve become so numb”… ((hahaha to much linkin park quoting itnit))….like ti feels like it SHOULD be…but I could care less than I care about not caring..and then *?*
“and then my friend you die [man]”..>!!
and then my friend you die.
Let’s do the time warp again “”.
but seriously “would you like to know more?”…
if so you can learn more about nothing and everything at your local library ”…
forever and infinitely “stop the [mother fucking} boat”….
MY pointless words are my legacy…hopefully wordpress don’t steal my shit like myspace did !@! ~
Part Two Electric Boogaloo
How sad or stupid or pointless or pointful or….it is just what it is that…my legacy is blathering on the internet(s)? When I’m no longer here if there’s still others around who knew me and they happen to notice…I’m sure I’ll mostly be remembered as weirdo/asshole/freakshow. Really more just weirdo and/or asshole. Depends on what side of things you judged me from. I don’t even care…ultimately what you think of me is what you think and I can’t or won’t change your mind. Though up above I said I feel like death is coming sooner than later…I also fear I’ll be around 76 years from now and just completely miserable. Not to say that wouldn’t or couldn’t be fun…I did decide at some point I was going to live to one hundred twenty six or one twenty seven and it had something to do at some point with Haley’s comet or something else arbitrary and stupid (really with no meaning to me to make it anything more than meaningless so)..and/or/then just to say upon turning 126 or 127… “HA I told you mother fuckers I would make it” and then keel over and die….THat’s “goals” in life itinit? To live to be bitter, old as fuck, and only to do so for the sake of doing so. #LifeIsfunny.
“you damn kids get off my lawn”…….
But wait back to the subject header…your happy isn’t my problem…so “there you go”
entertainment media keeps me chugging along….like the train in that movie…which I suddenly can’t fucking remember the name of..directed by that Korean guy….. Snowpiercer *bam*…there we go. Without useless shit such as music, movies, television, and professional wrestling (just to name a few but the ones that are seemingly most important to me)…I’d have nothing to keep me going since I don’t like any of you….and live selfishly for me….”the energy never dies”
Rock n’ roll bitches…. rock n’ roll
to be continued in …. I fucking hate all of you part two …electric boogaloo :D~
not to add a fourteenth ending but..no worries for me if you happen to read…I’m fine if not dandy…if my head didn’t hurt like it currently was I’d probably be certifiably fine and dandy…but I’m not a dandy…so can I really be dandy? hmmmm…Lifes mysteries that nobody really cares to know…next time on UNSOLVED MYSTERIES… BUt seriously I’m as okay as I ever am as of this typing…I just quite enjyo writing epic piles of nonsense…for as I stated it shall be my legacy…after I’m randomly gunned down by a drive by or something likely more unexciting or news worthy…assuming wordpress doesn’t steal them from me….these blogs shall remain…to inspire nobody but to walk through my mind and revel in the journey that goes absolutely nowhere…hahahahaha “Maniacal laughter” “Maniacal laughter”
@ThanksForReading … :D~
[[[[actualization I wrote a follow up that was a realization to myself that I then thought could be a follow up to this..and thus if it occurs….maybe I’ll just call it “part two electric boogaloo”….yes I think that will do just fine….probably not dandy…and certainly not fine and dandy.. #bazinga ]]]]][[[[[[[and I’ve obviously done that haven’t I? Thus why would I include this actualization postscript? Because hey why not :D]]]]]]]