Guardians of the Galaxy 3d; an in theaters now half assed “review” :D ((and some stuff that has nothing at all to do with the movie))

Hey look a poster. I tried to make it the ‘feature image’ but apparently that’s only a tiny little scroll so…here you go..haha. The fact that I’ve now inserted this before all my babbling…I don’t know….star-lord-poster

Yep. I’m a straight shooter so I knock myself up front; This is half assed because I didn’t pre-write it prior to posting…I am typing in real time and posting almost immediately after; not all that important to point out I know but..oh well 😉

Before I get to the movie I must point out I RARELY make it out to movie theaters; I used to try and go once a week….then it became once a month….then it became a few times a year…and sadly now it’s probably about 1.5 times a year..don’t question the just is. If not for the fact I’ve got to pay to ride a bus a few miles or ride a bike a few miles to get to the nearest not tiny theater I’d possibly go more often…but then it’s also 11.50+ to see a movie if it’s not before 5? Used to be 6 for matinees but I think now weekends it’s 5….anything to suck another dime from a persons pocket (((on that note the new enhanced not quite IMAX but bigger than IMAX screen thing is an additional charge of 5 bucks too…I didn’t go for that although they do have a “if it’s not your best movie experience ever money back’ disclaimer…in any case..8.50 for early shows..11.50 for later shows..and 15 for 3d later shows….yeah…crazy expensive)))

Part b. I’ve only previously expereicned one movie in 3d in a theater ((aside from theme park atttractions that is)) and that was Finding Nemo 3d. I can’t remember my full rational of why (((although I think there’s a review of that posted here actually)))..but I do know I was and am a fan of Finding Nemo and I hadn’t seen it in a figured may as well support the 3d rerelease ((((which insures other upconversions..because MY one ticket makes all the Anywho..nay let’s take another unnecessaryish paragraph break before I continue..because really my actual “review” of the movie will likely be quite short..more about the experience of the movie I think…and before this paragraph ends I have to add the Toy Story short before Nemo 3d was excellent. That was almost worth 5 bucks alone 😀


Okay so as I was saying. Rarely go to the theater. Not a big fan of paying for 3d when it often doesn’t add anything (though I didn’t state that fact it’s possibly implied)). I like comic books; I was a DC fanboy not a Marvel fanboy; and like many people I enjoy the current gen of comic films. Guradians of the Galaxy probably not material I was very to at all familar with. I heard lots of hype leading up to the release and though I like to claim the media doesn’t get to me…I have to say the incidental viral campaign got me excited. I mean who wouldn’t like to watch a mismatch ragtag group of smartass super heros? ((Probably lots of people..but that kind of thing is right up my alley)). Thus long story short I avoided learning too much about the movie (((although there was potential spoilage on an episode of jimmy Kimmel featuring the cast…btw I watch that show about as often as I go to a movie in a theater….so maybe the fact I randomly saw they were on and decided to watch ((((actually I dvred and watched later..but i digress)))) and yet knew enough that I would potentially enjoy it…aside from smartass ‘heros’ thrown together I ALMOST went in knowing nothing at all about the movie (((((well that and the obvious fact that two of the characters were non human like creatures…would it be ridioulous for me to say I won’t say what they are because someone COULD be clueless and to say one is a blank and the other a blank would be a spoiler? …)))))…so blah blah blah and bleh bleh bleh…the decision to watch in 3d was thrust upon me by the fact that the only option that worked into the time I had free [more or less] was a 3d showing. Also non 3d was going to cost me $11.50 $3.50 more for 3d glasses [[which I keep not recycle..and thus I should just pay for a movie in 2d and sneak into the 3d showings with my collection of 3d glasses…all two pairs…ha]]…..So I was slightly on the fence..I had the feeling I REALLY want to see the movie…I REALLY don’t want to spend that much to see it…but I REALLY am unlikely to see a movie in a theater if I don’t catch it opening weekend [[[because after that you’s old news and all]]]….but I bit the bullet and took the risk…..

{{{{{I’d like to point out I switched from (), to [], and now {} for no particular reason other than six parenthesis would have been more ridiculous than []…uhm hmm}}}}}

Okay so finally the movie. I have to say the decicsion to bite the 3d bullet seems to have been worth it. I’ve not seen the 2d (is that even the proper comparison? As there’s still 3d shots that one can appreciate when watching in the non 3d version…at least I have with other movies where it was CLEAR partiucalry shots were shot for 3d and still translated without the shades on) so my coming thoughts may or may not ring true if you’re not watching it in 3d. Those thoughts are this; Like most good 3d there’s not a whole lot of things flying at your face gags. There IS great depth. It felt often like I was watching the movie through a View-Master  ((if you don’t know what that is Google it..haha)). There ARE some great 3d gags as well but I think the goal was to make you feel like you were a participant in the movie. If the goal wasn’t to make you feel like you were playing along and in the movie…then I clearly know nothing but that’s what I got out of it. Thus this is my ringing endorsement for watching it in 3d. The theater wasn’t packed, probably about 40 patrons total, but in any case I was rarely distracted by other theater patrons (((in spite of a few of them that were those annoying get up and run around types))). I was either pulled in because of the 3d..maybe because of the story telling…whatever the case/perhaps both.; I was in. Compelled and engrossed…engaged and involved…I was IN the world the movie was selling; and that is a mark of awesomeness…~ Lol~

As I said up front not all that much of a review…and I never expect anyone to read shit I post…I apologize if you read all of this ;)…but I’m not done….although I don’t have a ton to say about the movie itself…how about some bullet points for shits and giggles?

*The characters are awesome.

*The setting pulled me in; particularly the well done 3d that made me feel like I was walking where they were walking…living where they were living; the opening sequence I could feel the dirt and grime…but that may be an experience exclusive to me

*The story could be seen as over ambitious but the overwhelming media verbage/wordage/buzz word(s); fun & not serious. I think it goes quite dark for the plot that could be seen as the subplot. I don’t know if the story around the characters or the characters and their arch should be considered the main plot. Would it be crazy to say that this movie is a character study and the characters ARE the most important part? I’ve actually not read other reviews just caught wind of the blurbs and bits and pieces…so I COULD very well be alone on that island but I think the characters drive the story…and the story is important but COULD easily be seen as being secondary;;;because well you know “fun” right?

*”I am Groot” …vin diesel said it was harder work than you think to play that character on kimmel…I don’t know how serious he was although he sold it as serious…in any case if you don’t love this character…you have no soul…lol..but seriously..could be one of the driving forces behind the awesomeness within.

*Zoe Saldana is the new Rosario Dawson. Ironically she’s a year older than Rosario (I just googled to spell the name Maybe I’m, again, on my own island or maybe in my own boat but I feel like Zoe is out Rosarioing Rosario. What I mean by that? She seems to be able to play anyone and do it so well that you can’t help but love her or be engaged by and buy into the character. However ironically perhaps she is merely playing herself. In any case if I wasn’t a fan of her already…I know may have to see everything she’s in. (((also I saw a little bit of Thandie Newton in her. Which suggests I’m a huge Thandie Newton fan…admittedly the most obvious common factor between them is their skin color..although just now looking at IMDB for both Zoe and Thandie..they could be sisters…or twins..uhm hmm)))

*The soundtrack is awesome. Unless you hate the 80’s. And the soundtrack delivery system. Ingenious

*The opening is a little bit weird, cold, and/or unsettling however I’ve noticed relatively recently that MANY new movies, seems particularly to happen on blu ray discs, have no opening credits. This does have opening credits but it is a cold open (I think that’s the right term). It went from a trailer for a pixar (or disney but I think pixar..and yes I’m aware pixar is disney but still technically separate studios) movie that had everyone in the theater laughing RIGHT into the movie..and from funny trailer ((nay hilarious trailer)) into cold and serious ‘am I even in the right theater’ opening. As an aside I hate when movies open up and I wonder if I’m at the right movie…although for film makers that have intentionally done something to give off that feeling…I dig the smartass approach..I just don’t like being their victim. In any case the tone of the opening thankfully gets washed away pretty quickly…but I’m sure many people mentally scratch their heads (((or scratched))) at the opening.

*I think I hit upon everything important…but if not. Great performances. Engaging story. Fantastic 3d experience…and that’s what I didn’t hit upon that I decided was the bottom line. This movie, for sure in 3d at least, is a great EXPERIENCE. I was able to tune out my fellow theater patrons but when there were laughs that everyone could enjoy it was great to feel the presence of that laughter. I felt like I was in the movie or a member of their group (as touched upon multiple times already). I was a part of the adventure. I am, and you too can be, a Guardian of the Galaxy.

Guardians of the Galaxy 3d. 4.75 intergalactic (or interstellar) *’s out of 5.


And oh yeah a few more things. I’m the type that sits through the credits 99.9% of the time. This movie does have a “bonus scene” at the end. Duh, it’s a Marvel Universe flick. I won’t say any more than…It’s not necessarily worth sticking around for and you’ll appreciate it a hundred thousand times more if you’re a fan of the far out characters of the Marvel Universe. I think that’s vague enough. It’s probably far from a secret but I don’t want to be the one to “ruin the surprise”. However if you’ve seen the movie and actually read all my nonsense and would like to know my further thought drop a comment and I’ll

Oh yeah part dos. By all accounts I clearly loved the movie right? So why would I give it 4.75 and not a 5..or something closer to a 5? I think I’ve defactoed (bad improper use of the english language yay…or just read defaulted in place of defactoed) t0 4.75 for a great, amazing, and pretty much perfect movie that I just don’t feel right five starring ((notice my inconsistent use of numbers versus typing it out; I’m not paid to write so I do what I want 😀 )). And it’s just possible it’s not a 5 star movie (((I did it again))). If you’re a fan of Marvel, Comics, sci-fi, space adventures, and good clean smartastical fun. It’s a 5* movie for sure. If you’re not a fan of any of those things…there’s at least a character or two you should still enjoy. I know people who wouldn’t watch the movie and I know people that if they did BEGIN watching it they wouldn’t finish. It has widespread appeal and yet is perfect for a niche market. Maybe that’s my reasoning behind my rating? Nobody was asking and the chance anyone cares is irrelevant and non-point..otherwise why would I have spent the time writing all this? [[[[[Well because I’m a self indulgent smug arrogant prick that’s why..haha..]]]]]

“Would you like to know more”?


[[[Forgot to mention their are homages and/or nods a plenty intentionally or otherwise in the flick]]]

{{{bonus unimportant fun fact..I just spent over an hour writing all of that/this…the chance of that being appreciated is slim to none…the fact that it took me that long may or may not be sad..I dunno..I type pretty fast but information gathering sidetracks me too…I spend an hour writing something that one might spend 2 minutes quickly skipping through…there’s something not right with that equation…but that’s clearly tied into my self indulgence itint? ;-D



About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
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