Survivor: A quickly thrown together open casting call review if you will..haha [[[[additional ha because quickly became…not so quickly BUT there is a quick version see paragraph 3 and there you go; you’re welcome]]]]]]

Preface. I wrote a blog last week that I attempted to post about a week ago, but wordpress didn’t want to let me post it so it hasn’t been, about going to the survivor open casting. It was written before I knew for sure I was going.or maybe a day after the reservations on the bus that goes out to the casino where it was happening were made..but in any case I wrote a pre attendance blog that I may still eventually post. (((let’s go to my old standby of..if anyone wants me to post it I will..but you gotta let me know you’d like to read it or…you know….want me to all you want ;)…long-shot that anyone is reading let alone cares about what I do or don’t post..but as it’s now far less timely or relevant…it will probably find a home in the land of lost blogs…..still an idea in my head of randomly posting blogs that I wrote and were never posted….all the more entertaining that idea becomes if it’s a blog I wrote say…7 years ago and didn’t post..than if it’s a blog i wrote 7 weeks..or 7 days ago but didn’t post))))

So where ever I was going..I wrote a pre survivor casting blog….now how about I write a very half assed even less detailed than this previous/current paragraph statement “blog” about the actual experience? hmm….and away we go.

Set to be from noon to 5. Bus got us there at 1015 or so. I believe they handed out numbers beginning at 10. I know that my times have to be off because we discovered a line moving, with a bunch of people that seemed to have come from nowhere, around 11….numbers were being handed out ((which wasn’t stated online that they would be doing that at whatever time..I’m sure at least a few people showed up at noon to be sorely disappointed BUT than….if someone really wanted to be on the show they would have showed up at least an hour before noon…imo…)). Heard them say we will only be passing out 500 but later they said we will try to get more people in if we have time. We got number 340 and 341 (the other of we being my cousin). Tried to figure out what time that would get us in because our bus was leaving at 330 BUT we could have stayed until six if we wanted to too ((although between the two of us we had a total of less than 30 bucks..so 3 more hours would have been hard to cope with unless we would have killed a couple more hours just waiting…on that note…ten bucks gets you on the bus a coupon for a free lunch buffet or if you choose ten bucks toward food from one of the other 4 or 5 restaurants they have….and you get your ten bucks cash back when you go to the players club…essentially making the bus free AND you get free food…plus I had a coupon for another free 5 bucks so I could have walked out the door +5$, fed, and tried out for survivor…I left plus the free 5 bucks..I only gave 2 bucks back that I could have walked out the door with..lol..back to our story). So asked how many cameras they had set up (3) did a rough calculation that we should get in by around 230, maybe 3 worst case, so thought cool perfect timing of sorts. (well maybe we didn’t but I did….jumping ahead of myself..allowed for sitting around and bullshitting..gambling a bit…doing my minute for the camera…eating and tada time to leave). They took groups of sixty into the main room at a time…wait in line sing a disclaimer saying we and the casino can do whatever we want with this tape and it doesn’t guarantee shit….went behind a curtain…said my name and did my spiel.

Look at that I already finished…and yet I had more to say…haha….so let’s discover a little more shall we? Or maybe observations…if you will

So i’m pretty sure they DID get through 500 people with numbers and than some. I didn’t see 500 people that were definitely castable however I don’t do casting for the show..BUT I’ve seen the show and other reality shows enough to get a general idea of who they want. That being said why in the hell was I there right? hahaha…well let’s touch upon that next but first let me finish…. Per twitter there was a guy trying out for the 18th time. Looking at his twitter a good 98% of his tweets were retweets or replying to someone. You may see this is irrelevant. It probably is when it comes to survivor..but if this were for big brother….well they, for example, like people with opinions of their own and who whore themselves out on the interewebs; at least that’s what I’ve seen. Survivor doesn’t matter so much because it doesn’t air for a few months after it’s taped BUUUT…..at the same time it could get people watching if they can talk to you about it..ya know? Anywho didn’t look like he had ever made it past the first step of casting…so I think he probably needs a reality check, pun incidental but perhaps intended, and needs to realize he doesn’t have what they want. That’s my opinion though. I don’t think I saw him there. I did see at least one person who had war paint and a bandanna on trying to look all “I’m rugged and for survivor”…and I did hear one douchey army guy say ‘I’m going to tell them I was in the service for x years so I’m made for this’….yeah….you’re a douche….sure they cast the military characters..but this guy was just a meathead asshole douche military guy…not a compelling entertaining for television type..BUT this just what I gathered standing around (((after all the game begins as soon as you’re amongst fellow potential players….and as I tweeted…the game begins even before you’re at the casting event….but that’s my blow-hardiness 😉 ))). There was also a little person and a giant. If they were a team and it was for the amazing race….I think they would have moved to the next round….being survivor and them being people that weren’t there together….I think the giant guy could make for good tv and I’d probably send him to the next round unless he has the personality of a silent pebble…which is to say.if he was mr monotone I should be on survivor because blah blah derrr guy..’no no noooo’

Interlude….semi attractive chick I also found on the twitter I think I saw sitting on the ground with her mom waiting for her turn…I have no point other than exactly that…haha…back to the nonsense (((turns out not so half assed at all itinit?))) well first…also I have to say…the interest in this casting event on the facebook and the twitter….looked like there was barely any. Big brother at least had a good dozen tweeters and responders on facebook about the casting…maybe survivor fans aren’t the social media type or maybe they are a bunch of little bitches with private accounts and who don’t express excitement about the potential to be on a show….or maybe most of them have gone through the talk to a camera process so many times they are no longer excited? In any case if I was a producer or casting person…I wouldn’t want them on my show. HOWEVER that being said….they didn’t ask anything for this….sign the paper with your name, email address, and cell phone number. That was it. No fill out this short application and let us know your websites if you have any…..so survivor and big brother NOT the same show….duh……..finally now moving on..

I can’t remember what I wrote a couple paragraphs back about what I would get to…I think it had to do with big brother? Notice how many times I say big brother….one of my running “jokes”was I was just going to talk to the camera and say “big brother big brother big brother…..” for my minute….or I was going to say I’m really excited to get on big brother…well I kind of did exactly the latter. I opened with essentially ‘not a huge fan of suvivor but I am a superfan of big brother’……moved on to “I’d like to use survivor as a stepping stone to survivor”….and that’s 110% true….I’ve seen big brother contestants on the amazing race, survivor contestants on the amazing race, I feel like someone went from big brother to survivor, but I know almost for sure no one has done survivor to big brother….so there you go.

***interlude one of the suggestions from dan the man gheesling of big brother multiple times ‘fame’ (( @@DanGheesling ….have a story…attending multiple casting events for shows i don’t even care all that much about being on adds to my ‘story’…***

back to the babbling but tied to my interlude…I proceeded to tell them how I’d like to move on to the next round just so I knew for sure I had what it takes for…big brother..haha..actually I said to get on tv. That’s a big nono of sorts as you’re not supposed to be like ‘i want to be on your show to be on tv’…oops and oh well….I think my arrogance, or the idea that was implied of my arrogance there within, could be a benefactor to me. Maybe not….but I don’t think it could really hurt……I proceeded from there to contradict myself a bit slightly…..

back to where we were before I decided to jump ahead of myself to my very long one more, 2 more..5 more, thing(s). My contradiction that again I actually think could make me memorable…………….. I’d like to make it to the next round because blah blah blah….because ‘getting rejected again and again and….again is like getting kicked in the nuts’….at which point i may have twitched like a robot accessing memory banks or like in my own head a light bulb turned on because I followed that with ‘although I’ve only been rejected 3 times’ (or I may have said this is only my third attempt..I really wish I know exactly or more exactly what I said..because it’s my 4th show, not counting the mock game not really casting call wheel of fortune yearly event, I’ve tried out for. ifc’s ultimate film fanatic, the amazing race, big brother, and survivor…..at least I think that’s all….)…and i followed my technical malfunction/matrix glitch with ‘another reason I’d like to be on is to piss of someone who has tried out 18 times and not got on’ and than ‘id be like WHAT [[I did that forward shoulder roll with my what like..the what you going to do bitch thing people do…lol…I’m an idiot…because as I did it…I was like..yeah…on a pretaped show I’m going to prop up against that person viewing at home….way AFTER the show is done taping….that’s just silly….but arrogant right? hahaha…that’s my thought process…the ***”WHAT”**** was totally unscripted or unplanned….that was just a BAM thing….I’d at least laugh at the guy on the tape that did that…unless the volume was really low and I was busy playing on facebook/twitter/my phone…]] I only tried out once and you tried out 18 times and I’M on the show’……again as said in my [[]] what a jackass I am..because it wouldn’t be seen live by those dejected losers that haven’t made it in 18 tries….but let’s dig deeper again ((let me point out how that became the worlds longest quote because of my additional details contained there within))….know how I said game on….well we KNOW the guy who was trying out for the 18th time was going to say to the camera “I’ve been trying for 10 years and this is my 18th time” or something to that extent…..so let’s say because HE wants to be on the show more than I do…he was there 3 hours ahead of time and was number 1….or at least in the first group of people….the executives are back from their lunch break…..I’m on screen and I namecheck the “18th time” guy….they think WOAH this dude…….that’s what’s up ****WHAT***** :)D ….yep. Sure that may not at all be the case…they may sit 3 rooms with 3 groups…they may have all three videos running at one time….shit they may watch 5 or 6 at a time….but logically they could do 3 because there were 3 cameras running ((or as my cousin said only the ones behind the one curtain were being taped or would be seen…shit..that could be the case too…lols))….but check that shit….IF the dude was seen before me…I did a callback….that could help him out…..or as I also thought a few hours after the fact….HEY that’s a good idea I should have pitched to them….survivor vetrans of casting versus noobs……you KNOW that would make for some interesting drama or conflicts or whatever…..particularly if you had the teams intermingled to begin with..maybe you wait until the inevitable merge….do we vote out the guys who have tried out 15 times because we are arrogant prick assholes…do we keep them around because they want it more…do we vote out the noobs because they obviously don’t want it as badly as us …etcetera (((some of the noobs aren’t old enough to have tried out 18 times….I merely haven’t had the opportunity to go to an open casting event….the other few that happened nearby I think I had a job I had to work…..one I literally didn’t find out about until after the fact…so..yeah..anywho)))

ahhhhhhhhh that’s a lot to read itinit..I apologize….only one more item of note (((one more thing..HA…see below..shit..make that two more observations or more so notes about myself and than the literal last “one more thing”))))

so those things I said….I also added something about how I could be subdued or crazy or that I was a little crazy….that was my dee dee dee moment as I kind of stalled for a second or three like i forgot what I was going to say because well…I think I did have a brain fart moment…..I believe it was after my 2nd burst of talking and that right above that I said ‘you should cast me because I can play 20 different characters’…or something to that effect ‘I am 20 characters in one person’…..now that….I have over thunk and I think after I walked out from behind the curtain ((which took me a few seconds as I got trapped in the curtains….that would have been great if a producer/casting person was there to see that haha….jackass points for sure)) I was already thinking to myself…ahhh shazbot. Characters not so much an important thing for survivor…… to go back to my true obsession or preoccupation. Character(s) perfect for big brother….good for the amazing race….something you may seen on survivor BUT not nearly as important for survivor…..so i dunno moving forward if the multiple characters is a good part of my “story”…..nor am I sure that “I am a little bit crazy but in a good way” and variations there of is good BUT that’s been one of my constant selling points and it’s pretty effing true. I’m not crazy of course…but I am easily quite unpredictable…unless you’ve spent a lot of time with or around me in which case….”that’s just john”….so yeah. Also and although thaaat being said. Both shows have had some pretty bat shit crazy people on. They may not have been up front about being that guy or girl..but those people DO get on tv. ((((and I’m convinced big brother loves sociopaths…..I told this to a dude waiting in line with me at the big brother event….he proceeded to go in front of the camera and open with ‘I”m fucking crazy….i’m a sociopath….i don’t care about people’….his wife showed her tits and told them they were swingers….before i digress…he’s got a wife so he obviously ain’t that much of a sociopath…but ronnie is married too and HE is my example of there love of sociopaths….but now to digress or back to that point….and a callback….see Playing the game before I’m on the game. “I’m a sociopath” wasn’t a part of my spiel/points to hit/story…but I talked about it and someone else ran with it….get in their heads early and often….on that note I only slightly regret not having said yeah that guy before me..that sociopath thing…I put that in his head…..it totally wasn’t a coincidence that was what he ran with…..))j….lost in my own thoughts again…I think this point has been made.

so what were the two other things…..lost in my own head I may have forgotten them….let’s take a few minutes to mediate and see if I can remember………….

(la dee la dee dah….la la la la la laaaaaaa…) (((elevator musac here)))

okay well maybe I’ll remember it but my “and one more thing” I said as i was given the 5 seconds left sign was ‘and one more thing when I was in australia I caused a car accident’….I meant to say incident….or a minor traffic accident….because what I said versus what I intended to say could suggest OMFG what a monster versus oh this might be a funny little story. At leat I think so IF you’re reading this please share which you think is more the case…..if you’re curious 100% true and I have a witness who can verify the story…..although there’s not much to it…. walking down the street in mackay australia (( http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&q=mackay+australia&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=0x6bdbd36e9d4ae2eb:0x400eef17f2094a0,Mackay+QLD,+Australia&gl=us&sa=X&ei=nFq-UJyRJ9LWiALR8YHACQ&ved=0CJ0BELYD )) ; me acting like a jackass or being the ass I can sometimes be…maybe blame it on my age  HA…i was walking down the street waving to passing by cars. Maybe it wasn’t cars plural but the one person…but in any case I waved…a chick turned her head and looked..the chick rear ended the person in front of her ((or maybe she was rear ended..bazinga…but I’m not 100% sure)). She was obviously flustered or embarrassed drove around the corner and…..the end. Exciting story isn’t it? Maybe if I were a ladies man I would have ran over and asked if she was alright and……potatoes become fries…..but nope. That’s it. Small town in australia me the stunning american man…..of course that was going to happen…hahaha…but seriously “they love americans” and especially in a small town that doesn’t see shiploads of them frequently. Or maybe she thought I was “someone” ((see previous blogs, including my non posted survivor blog, about how everyone COULD be a someone….i think I also posted that very subject header….maybe I’ll add a link to that….but probably won’t…I guess if you see it than I did….HA))((( And now I will https://jahwoo.wordpress.com/2012/09/18/you-never-know-whos-a-somebody/ ))) ….maybe it had nothing to do with me at all…but what are the chances? ((((on an entirely different but somehow related note…in my life I’ve had a couple of chicks ask for my spit a couple of times…..maybe it was only once but these two broads walked up to me and asked me to spit into a cup……yeah…..that one I will never know the story behind much like when I was in high school standing up in class before class started and a chick i had a few classes with randomly hugged me. She and I weren’t like friends and I don’t think we haed ever exchanged more than a few words with each other…I’ve since decided that was a ‘do one nice task for someone’ or ‘hug a stranger’ or maybe I just looked like I needed a hug…in any case what I was getting at…it was pretty effing weird and totalyl unexpected….I’d like to belive it was something like i want you…i’ve now hugged you…ask me out you dummy kind of thing but my life doesn’t allow for that to be the case…..if my class ever has a reunion (they’ve so far dropped the ball on ten and 15 years….fuck im old0…and she is there..and i find myself in teh situation to talk to her I think I would ask….but….I don’t see that ever happening….and if it did…I don’t see her remembering even doing it……so it will forever be a mystery as to what the reason really was..BUT like I said..I’ve decided the why….now i’d just like a confirmation of my thought. She was on a local saturday morning tv show….she was kind of hot…she was pretty awesome actually…lol….missed opportunites? )))

Okay now that we’ve derailed entirely from anything having to do with survivor…but wait maybe not….survivor is on tv…that chick in my (((()))) was on tv…hmmm…..hahahaha…..I have totally forgotten what my other point I was going to touch upon was….but i DID record myself, shortly after doing my minute, babbling in audio form and running over my talking points, if you will, AND it’s posted on my soundcloud account…but I’m pretty sure they are currently set to private…lolololololol. If someone wanted to hear it though i could probably make that happen….it’s two bits totaling under two minutes…and could have given you the meat without all the additional potatoes included here within…..ie could have saved you the other however many minutes it took to read this….I think I’ve been writing for over an hour…easy to lose track when I don’t know when i started though….lmao…..okay so now to return to the end that I already wrote as per mentioned above….I originally thought to myself, as I was getting a bit bored with writing it a few paragraphs ago, hey this is totally going to be a two parter….but that was after I thought wow look I’m already done….and than there’s what a good ten thousand words…looks like 8 BIG paragraphs and a few smaller stanzas later and I’m still writing….if you made it this far..you’re a trooper…especially because I KNOW it’s at least a little bit all over the place….I may read it myself before posting it in which case…maybe I’ll remember what the other thing I was going to hit on was….or if nothing else it will give me another few paragraphs to write….hahahahaha; Because of the way I do things look for that in the comments section..even if I reply to myself BEFORE this gets posted…uhmkay..a I was saying…thanks if you read all of this…as always it would be nice to get feedback in the form of comments or you know ..comments to tell me how crazy I am…how I should totally keep trying to get on tv shows…how you work for cbs and want to cast me (or you know..you know the people that can..haha)…how I could improve my chances…what I should add or take away from my basic selling points….and/or have you tried out for any shows? What was your experience like? Have you made it further than round one for casting on any shows? ((I think technically I have as I had a pre screening phone call where I took a quiz that had I passed I could have bypassed the line and went right to whatever part 1b was…I think maybe waiting in line was to get to the quiz OR…that was step 2 and I was bypassing 1 because I had the basic requirements….I should have asked….the more you know..you know? In any case I’m pretty sure if i had done great or aced the quiz I would have gotten to the that one step closer than the people waiting in line to try out step; and in case you’re wondering it was for IFC ultimate film fanatic. It was a very short lived game show. Regarding…you guessed it movies… I’ll just say…had it been ten other questions I could have easily gone ten for ten..but instead it was stuff that I think most movie nerds/fanatics/geeks/whatevers would probably have a hard time getting more than half of correct. Very specific shit like in what year did this happen..or who won the oscar for best lighting in 1972…..lol. No exaggeration as a few of them were that….but a few were who directed go (I passed and looked at the back of my dvd to answer that one…but now I also know forever doug liman direced go)..what was the number one film of all time according to afi ((I knew that…rossssebud….Citizen Kane [[editing note..as I’m doing spell check I noticed I had called that raising cain…lmao…fail of epic proportions me..whoo ]]))…I don’t think I remember the other questions but I think I wrote them down and have them somewhere…I think I got like a 4 out of ten….but maybe it was 7 of 20…i feel like it was 4 questions and I had to get 7 or 8 right to move on….but anywho…that’s not this or that..but ….well it is this…but it is what it is or was….itinit?))

so to summarize….one minute…I’m an ass….have you tried out for something? how far did you get? thoughts….opinions..suggestions…do you have a hook up to get me one step closer to ..big brother? hahahaha….proceed to and one more thing and see you later 🙂 ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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oh yeah and one more thing (that I’m writing before I’m done writing the above but while the thought is fresh in my mind_……I opened with my name because that’s what they said to do…..I said nearly exactly.. ‘Hell I’m john m. wood the 3rd the third in a long line of my name…..’ as I than kind of guffawed at myself and said..well or I hope in a long line…HA….if that doesn’t make me memorable….I don’t know what else would….Maybe screaming WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION…because I imagine a room (board room style) full of casting people or producers watching the casting tapes..at a medium to lower volume…while they eat donuts, play on their phones, check email, read a book, shave their legs,……and so on….if that’s even the first people that watch it..it could be a bunch of junior assistants and shit that are told “look for quality x, y, or z; make note of them and pass it on’…in any case I KNOW there’s no way the first eyes cast upon it are 110% paying attention….something has to grab there attention and keep their attention for them to move potentially any further…..that’s another big DUH…and when it’s only a minute….that’s not a HUGE amount of time for a person to shine…but when it’s hundreds of people talking for a minute…well do the math and IF they only took (“only”) 500.and IF they do how I imagine it in my head…..that’s 60 people an hour IF they go straight through….60 into 500 …that’s a good 9 hours….let’s call it a good ten hour shift of watching hundreds of people talking for a minute at a time….if you did that you would get bored pretty quickly I bet…..but digging deeper….that places me roughly at the beginning of hour six of that endeavor……that could be right after lunch when they are tired (if they take a lunch break)…that could be after a mid shift break when they are refreshed…..some how I feel like it puts me in a better place than being 175 or 425….obviously that means 300 is the magic number..or because of my preoccupation ..333…but in any case…I got a good position IF they take the tapes from “seattle” and watch them in one sitting….perhaps even better or worse if it was a standard work day where they don’t jump RIGHT into the tapes and take an hour lunch…that could easily place me into the first thing they see the next morning pile..hahahahha…..over-thinking it much am I? Maybe just a little….okay now lets go back to where I was….turning this into a reading order like you’re watching pulp fiction or something…just a bit…

“STOP THE BOAT…”

god willing “Would you like to know more….”

Thanks~

((((((((((((not “and one more thing”…but literally 90+ minutes of my life spent writing that there up above I think…but damn it feels good..even IF nobody at all reads it…..expressing the demons as it were….thoughts all u in my head that will probably come out again at some point….but it’s kind of a text version of a podcast I don’t have….transcribes to what you would hear if I did…hahaha….but for reals….writing is an excellent outlet to express ones self…to get the clutter out of your head and onto the screen…or page..or wherever…even if it’s not entirely cohesive and no one else enjoys it….I’ve often found it fun to read things I wrote in the past…I wish i had more “journal” type stuff from when I was like…..elementary school and middle school age….didn’t begin doing a lot of spare time writing until high school I think….most of it isn’t that great..but damn it…if there had been blogging when I was a freshman in high school…..I would have all the epic and non epicness notated down already…instead I can only recall instances like the story of the girl hugging me including up above that stick out in my mind….as momentous occasions of wtf was that…I don’t even think there WAS “wtf” at that time…if there had been twitter…i would have got on my phone and tweeted “#WOAH #WTF was that….hot girl in my class just randomly hugged me..!!!??? #niiiice but #weird” hahahahaha….but semi-seriously…”kids” these days don’t even KNOW how much easier the social interacting is with all the digital options….cell phones? digital cameras? webcams?..skype?….hiding behind your keyboard?!….okay so the bullying might be a little bit worse too…but I think had facebook or myspace or whatever been all the rage I would have had a lot more ‘friends’….at least talked to a lot more people in high school….AOL was in the beginning of being HUGE when I was a senior..or maybe the summer before my senior year….there were a few people in class that were like yeah I got the aol…..nothing like 9 out of 10 people in class that would have had myspace had it been ten years later…..yep….and with that I will stfu….to go old school aol on you….. “GOOD-BYE” ;-)….. remember when “You’ve got mail” made you do a little happy dance?….now you can’t get away from the email….ha…..))))))))))))))))

{{{{  I never stop do I? going through that for the spell check I did remember something that I also kind of did..and that was tell people to like my posts and retweet me and what have you if they wanted to see me on big brother…I didn’t do that so much for survivor but I DID have a tweet ready on my phone to show the camera that said, essentially, ‘I would watch if you were on’ ; The thought in my head from that kind of thing continues to be…have people put their money where there mouth is…as it were…create a petition get signatures and present that as I talk to the camera….hahahaha….I’m sure it’s been done before but if not….there you go someone else..be sure to steal my idea…;) I don’t really think it would help anyway BUT one of my survivor selling points I didn’t hit was lots of my family watch survivor…a few more would if I was on it….and I’m sure some of my ‘friends’ would also tune in, maybe even for the first time, if I was on the show….but anywho…….I haven’t re read this yet….so if anything else comes to me a part two will probably happen..or I’ll comment on my own blog like I said I would…toodles…or if you prefer tootles…one isn’t a word according to the spell check..hahahaha 😛 }}}}}}

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About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
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3 Responses to Survivor: A quickly thrown together open casting call review if you will..haha [[[[additional ha because quickly became…not so quickly BUT there is a quick version see paragraph 3 and there you go; you’re welcome]]]]]]

  1. jahwoo says:

    how da fudge do I hyperlink to things? …I think I fail…I could and should take them links out perhaps..but..meh…I’m lazy…so lazy I wrote all of that up above..lmao 😀

  2. Holy shit, that was long! I hope you get on 🙂

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