hey big brother producers…..

what’s up big brothers….my name is john but i like to go by jah…not that most people give me that respect of calling me jah…maybe because it implies I have a god complex..which maybe I do..but more so…I dunno why…it’s fun to see peoples faces when they try to say it if they are only reading it….no one quite gets it and even less ask WHY?…but in any case…I’m also keen on just being called HEY YOU…

Let’s preface or post face this some more…..I have an unhealthy preoccupation with the number 3. Although to be honest it’s no where as near as strong as it was…3 years..I keed…but definitely no where near as powerful as it was a handful of years ago. That being said….let’s play with the number 3 shall we? Big brother is the 3rd ish reality show I tried out for. Last year the number I got for my place in line…divided by 3 was….you guessed it..14 (and if you didn’t..well now you see the symmetry. right?)….alas my destiny wasn’t to be…I feel like I jinxed it by posting to much on the interwebs…but seeing as I only posted my experience at the open casting call talk to the camera and we’ll send in your tape to the producers step of the process….i’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything “wrong”…although it got me worried when your head of casting posted something on twitter to the effect of ‘if you post ANYTHING about the casting process you will be disqualified’…again I’m sure that only meant if you actually talked to more than a video camera at an open casting call featuring a bunch of local cbs employees…..HOWEVER that being said…per previous blogs you can read here… i never assume someone isn’t someone…but let’s get back to the 3 shall we?

So I’m the 3rd of my namesake..at least in my family. When i was younger and really into nascar…I took a shine to dale earnhardt..who of course drove the number 3…but this wasn’t a conscious decision based on the number..no it was just symmetry of the universe leading me to the 3….and than….3 is the magic number..per the school house rocks (((I’ve got a tattoo on my arm inspired by a bands artwork..but it features 3 threes…and that’s my explanation to as what they each represent..though usually in the earnhardt, I’m the third, and 3 is the magic number for the pecking order…though it isn’t likely in order of that relevance BUT the middle 3 is a bit higher..so it still kind of works well that way; ya know? Also I’ve gone on to explain all the things that come in threes…I’ll spare us that here today…but a sample includes the obvious plethora of film trilogies..and..well I’m not going to spoon feed you the groupings of 3…just believe the logic that 3 is effing magical)))

Oh see that..I’ve gone off on a tangent…i tend to do that….how could that not make me entertaining on the television?

Back to the point or perhaps not…I’m actually beginning to run out of steam..as I’m feverishly typing..while the thoughts are still stuck in my head…i just got out of the shower and it always results, or nearly always, in swirling of thoughts and words that should be put down into something that resembles something that makes sense…..

And on and on and on we go. Back to the beginningish….i say 3rdish reality show because I’ve also gone to wheel of fortune events that they advertise as “try out for the show”..but it’s more like…you have nearly no chance of getting on the show BUT a few people from those events have managed to find their way on to the show. Honestly I have almost no interest on being on wheel of fortune I usually go (((as it happens at least once yearly))) because I’ve got nothing else going on, people watching is always fun, and they usually have some random shit to give away. I enjoy winning random shit. Hell that’s a facet of my life that COULD somehow be my storyline…as I’ve heard and read you producers LIKE a story behind your contestants….my story is simply me..but I could always get more creative than that..but do I really need to do that? hmm…..I’ve just had this thought as I’m randomly typing (or not so randomly)…I might have to pimp this out to Robyn Kass @kassting on twitter…she’s the, or if she’s reading this you’re the, head casting person for big brother. But if I don’t …maybe someone else can pimp me out to her? Hmm…maybe I can be really annoying and have all my friends pimp me or this out to her? Back to my you never know who might be somebody theory…..it could possibly help…but maybe not….we will or will not see…

So back to where I was headed….aside from the wheel of fortune not quite casting event ((that they do in a bunch of cities all over the place with the wheel mobile, faux vanna, and way to happy  not quite pat…although he has far more energy than pat…but …that’s not to hard now is it?))…Big brother was my third realityish show. Number one was a trivia game show ((so I dunno if that’s really “reality”..hahaha get it..kind of pun-E )) on ifc called the ultimate film fanatic. I got as far as…i got to do a phone prescreen test to see if I could jump the line of people who didn’t do that before hand. Well..as I’m not telling a story about being ON the show..you can guess how that didn’t go so well…I may or may not have answered a question or two with the assistance of a dvd that happened to be near by to me when a question about said movie was asked….I think I got 4..maybe six out of ten questions right……..I was a bit disappointed in how badly I did because I do watch a shit ton of movies and do know an above decent amount about them…but it just so happened they asked a bunch of stuff I guess I didn’t know….including some things that I didn’t know I DID know….I’m a savant like that sometimes..facts I pull from my ass or wherever…maye the muse of random crap pop facts and such occasionally finds itself standing next to me (((((if there were such a thing…maybe I should figure out it’s name instead of calling it what I did..right?)))) ))

So… Ifc ultimate film fanatic strike one. My next attempt was an open casting call for the amazing race. My would be teammate told the cameras he was camera shy. While I think that COULD make for an interesting angle…I get how that probably equaled no chance in hell…but let’s be honest…there were definitely other factors that equaled no go for us on the amazing race. I still think that would be a fun show to be on. Of course the money would be nice but really…I’d like to be on some of them reality shows just for shits and giggles….life is experiences right?

So we’ve got two strikes and then there were…..((i know it’s was…but i should be saying IS)) big brother. For the pat I don’t know how many seasons…probably since post season 2 I had been reallllllllly lazy about applying for the show that upon the first viewing…maybe it took 3 or 4 episodes but the first season I saw….that little voice in my head..or that muse standing beside me..or that entity sitting on my shoulder…it said THAT is your destiny. You WILL be on big brother…….it didn’t say much beyond that. I’m going to go a route I think one isn’t supposed to and say…I probably wouldn’t win….however don’t take that as me stating I don’t THINK I can win….but my social game would probably suck…..but the actually challenges….I’d be good at most of them….at least I think I would…..to hell with the naysayers…ya dig.!? So anyway finally last year my chance for an open casting event came. (((also I bitched for about the last…six or seven years via the social networking about LACK of casting events in the northwest…the closest one there was before this previous year was 3 years or so ago in Portland..which I gave serious thought about getting on the greyhound to go to…but the chances of me ending up stranded somewhere in Oregon and lack of funds I think talked me out of it….hell I may have even had to work that day or the day after or something that prevented me..but I can’t remember for sure)))…so needless to say…I didn’t get on big brother. I haven’t given up hope…but with every year that passes….I feel like the experience I would have….would be less fun and one of those experiences that make up a life…and more like….I wouldn’t even want to be there. I’m a superish fan but I’m not going to pretend I’m always going to be able to get the most out of it….and as much as OF COURSE I’d enjoy winning or I could use the money….it’s more about the experience…and a little bit one of those things I’ve read and been told or heard you’re supposed to deny deny DENY….but I’d like to see if my 9-13 minutes of fame could segue into something else….i have no desire to be an actor ((though i’d like to be a featured extra…))..but as I’m an opinionated sometimes asshole….getting more eyes or ears on the nonsense i spew because I appeared on a tv show…..even if it did NOTHING for further financial gain…..of course I’d like that. I’m a bit of a whore like that. I like when people pay attention to my nonsense…..shocking that anyone would WANT people paying attention to them right?

So there we have it…feels like I’ve been sitting here typing for 20 minutes…actually I think it’s been closer to 30…I’m not sure if that means I type slowly or quickly or …I just space out for moments at a time (((ie is this alot for a half hour? A little? or somewhere in the average in between?)) My actual intent when I began typing was to draw up a blue print…or rough draft of points to hit when I DO try out for the next season. But seeing as I’ve actually done that a few times in the past already…and more so even IF I have points I want to hit…I believe more in the real in the moment tell us why you should be on the show and let’s see how I answer situation. But on that note I’m terrible with the same stupid questions that you’re always asked at job interviews…mostly because the most honest answer I can give is usually I’ve never been in that situation but if I was..it wouldn’t be an issue….and the like. ….so yeah……what’s the point of this all? My focus has been thrown….I really want to be on big brother. I really want to be on it like…last season….maybe a few years before that but since last year was the first time I actually “auditioned”….nothing but my fault..i guess….I feel like if I don’t get on this next upcoming seasons..maybe MAYBE one after that….I’m not going to get that opportunity…I’m not going to be in a place where i CAN go on the show…and I don’t think I would ever NOT want to be on it ..but as i stated earlier…I do think there will be a point where the best of me and the best of the experience aren’t going to be there..and I’d be taking a spot from a more deserving person…..which every season you all seem to cast a few people that have to leave more than just me wondering and scratching or literal and virtual heads wondering HOW IN THE FUCK did they get on the show?  ((((on that note…please no more people that have never seen or heard of the show before….I speculate that people still get recruited..but the chima debacle is prime example of why maybe sometimes that ain’t going to work out so well….I’m sure there’s probably a person or three of four that DID come about that way and WERE great on and for the show..but …yeah….don’t get me started on the here’s THIS character..and here’s THIS character..and there’s THAT stereotype..and la dee da de dahh…..at least it manages not to be so blatantly obvious as the formula on the amazing race recycling the same teams for 70-80 percent of the cast with a few wild cards thrown in…those wild cards are usually the most fun…but sometimes too…again leave one wondering WHY the hell were they cast…but I get it to at least a small extent..you’ve got to feed your demos…or they won’t keep watching))))

Did I mention i go off on tangents?

I kind of feel like sending this off when I apply for the next season with everything else..but the way the apps are done now I don’t think there’s quite a way to do that….so again..maybe I should pester people i DO know have some power or pull or say by spreading it their way..or encouraging my friends to do the same…but than…even though I know a few people have got on shows by being a nuisance….I know more realistically pestering could lead to being totally ignored..even pointing them (or you 😉 ) towards this once or thrice would probably result in no one really paying attention….but hey that’s what’s great…….I still don’t know who you that may or may not be reading this may or may not be….maybe your like or your share..or your pimping of me to the right people……could move mountains…

Until that point where I at least make it to the locked in a hotel room stage of casting…I will do my best to keep trying. And on that note….for example…I have practically NO interest in being on survivor..but IF they do an open casting call near enough to me and it’s doable…i may just have to go….and I may just even talk to the camera, if it’s that type which thus far seems to be the only type of open casting they bring to the northwest, and say..you know what. I barely watch survivor. I would do terribly…but I really want to be on big brother..so maybe you can pass this along to them…or maybe you can put me on survivor because I will suck so bad…and that will help me get closer to my goal/dream/destiny/fate of getting on big brother…..it couldn’t hurt right? I guess that really depends on who you ask…but…I’ve heard being a nuisance…will get you further than silently trying out and keeping your fingers crossed…..

boo boo dee boo. So thank you for your consideration casting people who probably ain’t reading….wait I mean..so when you going to call me? …screw consideration….you KNOW you want me 😀 ….yep…now I’m playing cocky….but before I babble some more..my lower back is kind of bothering me….so let’s leave us with that which is above…and hmm…maybe one more thing….
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Oh yeah..here we go…per the suggestion of someone who has been on the show a few times now…..but something I think i did before hearing his tip to do so…. “and one more thing”…..I mentioned i win random stuff up there somewhere I think……so uhm..yeah…I got nothing :D….there was actually a “one more thing” item in my head when I was around the 2nd or third paragraph up there…but that got misplaced….but I could come up with “one more things” forever…..i don’t know that they would all be massively compelling…but ooh…here’s a sample….and one more thing….I once caused a small car accident when i was in Australia……true story….how’s that for a teaser?….

Thanks ! 🙂

(((((the timing of my posting of this probably ain’t the best since big brother won’t happen again until next summer…unless i hurry up and turn canadian so I can try out for the first ever big brother canada..but that ain’t gonna happen either….I don’t actually think anyone will pimp me out to the casting director….I do think there’s a chance when I apply again or maybe somehow before that time…someone that has something to do with the show COULD lay their eyes on this….so…hey…even if not…this blog is yet another piece of “art” i’ve put out into the webisphere…..one persons tomato is another mans potato…or something :)~ )))))

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About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
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