I forgot to save the revisionist history blog to my flash drive so that’s going to have to wait…but until then we have this…which I actually wrote a few days ago…almost ties into the revisionist history thing..but not quite..anywho….away we go (((which too the revisionist history blog is so short..I could probably have rewritten something pretty close to it right now..but where’s the fun in that? actually..that probably would be fun..but hey leave me alone….I went to the trouble of writing it so I ought not let it slip between the cracks like a good half a dozen or so recent blogs have…still the one I wish I had posted while it was a timely thing was my olympics blog..but..what you gonna do? )))
why the past is never gone and I’m forever alone…
This could be massively long but I think it won’t be. Reading some shit I’ve got on my computer…and there’s tons of shit I’ve got on my computer..there was a definitive trend with the chicks i spent alot of time talking to online and ultimately never met and whom eventually flaked out on me. I’d like to say it was never me flaking out on them….and I think in fact there’s only one person I know I kind of did that too…but end of the day moral of the long story short…me and meeting people online jumped the shark long ago.
Moving on. Me and meeting people in the real world…jumped the shark before it could ever happen….and actually shockingly it HAS happened..but those people all ultimately pop their cyanide capsule eventually into their mouth and fade accordingly….
How about that meet someone at work thing? I’ve done that too….that was a bit of a joke…I was going to say waste of time but I at least learned something from that experience….as to what I learned…that’s my secret…and you might be able to read about it one day in a sure to be best selling novel featuring ALL the secrets of life; Yeah that’s right…a novel…not a run of the mill autobiography or self help or advice style book…uhm hmm….if you believe in that as much as I don’t…..maybe it will happen someday.
So that all above being said. I was often accused of being overly negative in my life in the past….less so now days because well….less people interact with me. lol. That’s the sad state of actuality. I’m sure if I was regularly interacting with as many people as i have in past portions of my life I’d still be getting told how negative i am…and see there’s irony in that fact…I’m POSITIVE….that I’d be told I was negative…..even when those people were constantly barging into my life…..I was still positive they were full of shit….or rather they didn’t know wtf they were talking about. I can’t say I’ve NEVER been negative in my life..but I haven’t been overly negative in my life since sometime in my teens. Any negativity since that point of enlightenment occurred was merely projection by others who lead a miserable life and try to sell their misery as being because of or due in part to myself (((actually that’s a lie….they don’t blame me…but I DO believe they are miserable so they have to believe my reality is purely negativity)))
^^^You see what I was going at but didn’t quite clearly hit up there….I wasn’t being negative….I’m rarely in the present negative….it’s all I’m a bit to real and don’t candy coat situations that ARE in fact…ding ding ding…Negative. Speaking reality of situations does not Not NOT make me negative..it makes me a fucking realist…so kiss my ass people in the past who felt the need to rag on me about something that wasn’t a reality…but through their eyes it was THEIR reality….and ooh look maybe I’ve or we’ve stumbled upon another point ..
or maybe not
But I progress
actually…If I were to be real as I claim I am…no I don’t progress…at least not in this case there will be no progression 😉
And yet all the things that are going unsaid and unwritten but have been written or said in the past…and how much I feel like my ‘best’ or most valuable years as far as sharing my life with someone have kind of passe’…..there’s still a hopeless romantic that believes in that spark that is felt between two people when they bump into each other while they are running to catch their airplane to opposite ends of the country and somehow…they both end up seated next to each other on their return trips home ((never mind the lack of geographical logic to that))(((or maybe a future business trip they find themselves seated next to each other..that’s a bit more realistic right?)))…..(((((come to think of it…my first example I don’t think has been made into a rom com yet….i best get to writing it right…so it can be hacked to bits by hollywood re-writers and than turned into something I would be embarrassed to have my name attached to..BUT…I still take whatever little credit that is given because…it equals that micro-millimeter of fame and/or maybe some $$$$$ never minding the reality, again, of once you sell a story you usually lose any credit that could be given to you……unless of course you go on to a be a popular famous director or writer at which point….they pull credit out for you…but they don’t mention that the credit they are giving you is in fact mostly re written and turned into a pile of shit..where as your original source material was a piece of gold…..))))))
you see what I did there…I trailed off as I’m quite masterful at doing…if you think i can’t do that talking to someone or someones face to face….you’d be wrong….one of my many skills that are completely useless in any real world ambition…..and yet I keep referencing how real I am…..go fuckin figure right?
I deserve better than where I am in life; No, that’s not a sense of entitlement..that’s a real statement 😉 ((((I know…I’m getting a bit overboard with it))))…..but at the same time….I totally have to take most of the blame for my current failure in existence ((((there are legit things that have happened that were beyond my control that kicked me in the balls and prevented forward momentum….but yeah I know….that’s just another excuse even if their is truth behind the statement)))))
So there you have it….I barely touched upon the subject header as I tend to not often do…but even if it’s not there in black and white….it’s in between the words. My bitching works on that many deeper levels…hahahaha.
yeah….anywho. How about you imaginary reader? How do you feel about this or that or something that I may have touched upon in the above ramblings. Do you agree? disagree? want to go for the block by picking the center square?
this is the part where I have to suspend reality…and admit to the reality that I know nobody is reading..but think they might be..and even though they might be…I KNOW they won’t leaver comments…but I’m still acting as if you/they/someone will….and that’s the quandary….how self deprecating is this whole experience of posting blogs that are read by none…seen by even fewer…and blah blah blah blah.
It’s all an exercise in infinite redundancy….itnit?