Savages. And the theater going experience I Rarely partake in….((a semi half assed review :) ))

Let’s preface this review by saying, which I think I do again below, I rarely go to theaters anymore for this was a special treat, as it were, courtesy of a coupon in the entertainment book for a free movie on your birthday….worked out excellently since I wanted to see savages and it opened on my birthday!  ((and OH YEAH…A movie review only a day after the movie dropped so actually kind of timely…even if there’s not much of a review here….maybe I’ll write a better one

OH MY effing god do they tell you to turn off your cell phone enough? I swear it was like 7 times…..and OF COURSE there were still people sitting in the theater texting through the movie…..actually to be fair…I only saw one phone come out once the movie had started and that was near the end….

People leaving when the movie was obviously not over….there were a few people so impatient or whatever to get out of the theater they didn’t even let the credits hit before they stood up and headed towards the exit….I think that was the first time I witnessed such a thing…

20 minutes of commercials play before…..20 minutes of trailers play….so fucking irritating…especially when you’re me and you don’t like seeing 7 trailers before the movie you’re there to see….and especially when the movie is probably going to be 2 hours long….oh yeah; probably? Because one source told me the movie was like an hour and 50 minutes…another source suggested 2 something…..turns out it’s about 2 hours and 10 minutes…PLUS 20 minutes of previews…PLUS 20 minutes of commercials…..nearly 3 hours spent in the theater…which brings me to

I hate being there way earlier than I need to be….as much as I hate people who walk in after the movie has already begun…fortunately the mass opposite of exodus occurred roughly when previews started….and while I’m on that…they left the fucking house lights, or whatever you want to call them, up until the actual movie began….this was different and stupid to me…also the sound quality wasn’t great during the trailers…go figure….

all of this bitching set aside now..once the movie FINALLY began..I noticed down in the lower right a bit of a warped look on/to the screen..I thought it might of been part of how the film was shot…but no..turns out that portion of the screen is a bit warped….thankfully most of my attention stayed focused towards the center of the screen so it didn’t have to become to distracting…but IF I had paid to watch the movie I may have had to go complain and/or say WTF is going on with the fucked up screen to them…..not that you can find someone to complain to at 130 in the morning in a then pretty much empty of anyone, or the little staff still there go into hiding, theater…hell even the cops that are there all day and night are gone by that point.

Having established all of that….I kept smelling someones stank ass dorritos breath during the movie…OMF that was pretty fucking annoying….I think it was probably coming from the dude a few chairs to my left who slept through 70% of the movie…but maybe it was dude in front..or the freaks behind me….not really sure but it’s gross tasting their dorrito stank and not really being sure who it’s coming from (((for real though….who wants to smell stinky breath in a theater?….and while I’m still bitching about things..the theater was awfully warm….I think I worked up a sweat and off a couple of pounds sitting and watching a movie)))

There’s a new movie coming directed by rza…produced or “brought to you by’ quenten tarantino…see my post script for more on that…we continue

Oliver stone. Nuff said 🙂 … Okay..seriously….When the movie ended….i heard these people of an ethnicity that you might expect to talk through the entire movie…basically talk about how terrible the movie was….which it isn’t…I think I may have been the only person in the theater that didn’t think it was awful….I think I was in a theater full of idiots who just go watch whatever is showing and don’t know shit about what to expect from an oliver stone film….that harkens back to the awesomeness that is natural born killers…..Seriously I would wager none of the other people in the theater were even familiar with the name oliver stone and surely have never seen natural born killers or there wouldn’t have been such a let’s get the fuck out of here vibe that I felt…..of course when a movie is over 2 hours long and it’s not transformers….people to tend to be in that rush to get out…

As i was saying….they were nice enough NOT to talk through the whole movie but *************************************************TOTALLY TOTALLY TOTALLY mildly could be considered a spoiler if something a character says in the movie would be something you see as a spoiler alert….if you’re not worried about it continue..if you are just don’t read the rest of this stanza/paragraph..thanks********************……there’s a point in the last quarter or so when a character says “I looked up the definition of savages”…and there was a lovely voice right behind me that said “it ain’t this movie”….ahhh thanks you fuckstick. I needed your analysis so I could miss what the character in the movie was saying…

so yeah anywho….back to what I was saying…My full review was actually going to be something like “brilliant 5*s go see it”..and I was going to post that for a blog :D…obviously I’ve not chosen that route….ooooh and another thing..there was a trailer for a fucking disney presents pg rated movie before……I don’t understand who the hell they thought they were marketing too….was for that movie about the boy that grows out of the ground….the audience for savages…not really the same demo as the plant boy ((though I will see it..still I found it odd…what’s next a g trailer at an nc-17 film?))

Anywho. The movie. There’s a few hokey points. The ending is probably one that the majority of people aren’t going to like. The acting is excellent…but could you expect any less from the stellar cast? The soundtrack wasn’t nearly as good as I expected it to be…but if you’re a fan of NBK I think you will love savages…even though it’s really nothing at all like NBK….It’s not nearly as “savage” as it could have been…maybe that is why there were some disappointed people in the theater with me?…It was 2 hours and 10 minutes that only felt like 2  hours and 30 minutes…hahaha….Actually though it kind of felt like ten more minutes might have fleshed out a few things a wee bit better….

Lastly let’s leave you with…you know that episode of family guy when they make the joke about the name of the movie being said in the movie…..the first time you hear it ((and in my theater I’m pretty sure I heard a few guffaws or what have you at the mention of the word))…well let’s just say you won’t be let down if you’re the kind of person that likes to go see  “uncle ralphs adventure through innerspace”…..and within the context of the movie at some point a character, or two or three, says HEY RANDY……Remember when “uncle ralphs adventure through inner space” was taking place?…I guess that could be a good or bad thing depending on if you give a shit or not….it got to the point where I was counting it to see how many times they said it though…hahaha…it actually wasn’t all that many times..but it did kind of make me chuckle internally.

So there you have it. You should go see it because I have a feeling it won’t be long in the theaters. Particularly if you’re a fan of the genre or director or actors….or you’re a fan of NOT going to watch a reboot of a franchise that is just barely cold on the plate. If it wasn’t an oliver stone film I would suggest that it needs your money more than anything else that’s playing..but since it is…even if it fails it’s not like we won’t be seeing more from the director in the future (((((yeah….if someone was unaware…I DO go to movies because of who directed them…..or because of where the source material came from…or because of a group of actors that appear in it….I guess to many people that’s not to odd..but I’ve also gotten a lot of weird reactions to my sharing that I will go watch such and such because so and/or so directed it…….this is the first movie I’ve seen in theaters in easily 2 years?…since let me in…I’m very selective about what I support IN theaters….a lot to do with my financial ruin but also a lot to do with….some things just don’t need my support…other things DO need all the help they can get….although it most often comes down to what do I want to experience on the big screen in a room full of strangers…right behind it being what do I need to support…although as of recent times it seems to be what do I think needs more support that edges out what I want to experience on the big screen)))))

In case it wasn’t clear in here somewhere….savages 5*s. Probably overly generous..but at a point in the movie my judgment said..yep..must see. Even if you don’t agree with anything else that I see making it such….it’s a solid 4*s….If it loses your attention in the first 20-30 minutes though you’re not going to enjoy it. So when you watch it…make sure you’re focused on it. It’s not that you’re going to miss something….but if you’re heart and head aren’t both in the movie you’re not going to care what happens……not to say I cared what happened…but I did care about how everything played out (((of our three main “heroes”…I only liked one….of the “villans”… benicio del toro is amazing to watch….but duh)))

oh yeah..also trailer for the man with the iron fists….tarantino, eli roth, and rza bring us this film…it’s gonna be good…but batista…not a great actor….that’s all I’m saying;; ((eli roth is a sick mofo…I stand by that assessment I made after cabin fever…his sickness stays pretty much in check but his a touch of magic))  more can be seen and read here you’re welcome

About jahwoo

I am the shiznit...need more be said? If you think so..than you probably don't need to be here :-D
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